


We Could Never Leave

by kishidanchougoroshi



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Drama & Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 02:17:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13378017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishidanchougoroshi/pseuds/kishidanchougoroshi
Summary: The love of Aiba’s life reappeared at the unexpected timing and it led him to find something completely new. The feelings that he didn’t know he could develop.





	We Could Never Leave

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for Pierrot in 2017 Aiba Exchange

It was an ordinary Tuesday morning in the beginning of winter. The usual rush hour had ended, the subway trains seemed to take a deep breath after the chaos just like the station staffs. A few people were standing on the platform, waiting for their train, most of them were holding a smart phone, perhaps they were playing the recent popular game, chatting with their friends, or simply checking on social media. 

Aiba glanced at his watch; it was still ten in the morning, he went for work rather earlier than usual. He slid out a comic from his tote bag and started reading while waiting for the subway train. It had been years since he followed the series; his bookshelf was already out of space now, he planned to sell the old editions to the secondhand book store, but he kept on forgetting, the comics and magazines were now flooding his apartment and he had no idea how to handle it. 

The subway train arrived at the station three minutes later; Aiba inserted the comic into his bag and boarded the subway train while checking his phone. There was a message from Ohno, his boss. 

Aiba worked in an Italian restaurant which was owned by a man named Ohno Satoshi. It was his fifth year since he first accepted a job as a waiter there. Ohno had promoted him to head waiter six month ago, and it meant he got the privileges to serve the high-class guests. 

Ohno’s message was short and didn’t provide any explanations, ‘We have a guest, he will come at 11:30’ 

Their restaurant didn’t open until lunch time which was around 12:00 so the guest most likely wasn’t a customer. Aiba replied with a ‘yes’ and inserted the phone to his jeans pocket. 

When he arrived at the restaurant, Jun was already there. He was the main chef of the restaurant, he always came to work early in the morning for something he called ‘silent-moment’ to think of the special menu of the day. Jun valued his job more than anyone else and perhaps he cherished this restaurant more than Ohno himself. 

Jun was a good-looking guy who loved fashion very much. He changed his hairstyle once every three months which, according to Ohno, was something unnecessary and money-consuming. Lately, Jun cut his hair short and combed it in a stylish way which made him look younger. It was probably Aiba’s favorite from Jun’s many hairstyles. 

“Morning,” Aiba greeted the man. 

“Morning, Aiba kun,” Jun answered, lifting his head from the receipt book he was reading. “Nice hair,” he added.

“Thanks,” Aiba smiled, brushing his fingers through his newly dyed hair. It had been ages since he dyed his hair black and he himself was surprised when he saw his own reflection this morning. 

“Are we expecting a guest?” Aiba asked Jun who had already looked back down to his book once again. 

“Yes,” Jun answered shortly. 

Aiba headed towards the locker at the back part of the restaurant and changed his clothes to a tuxedo. He went to Ohno’s office room on the second floor of the restaurant and found the man was reading a newspaper when he opened the door. 

“Aiba-chan, it’s nice to see you this early,” Ohno said, putting aside the newspaper and gestured for Aiba to sit down on the sofa across from him. 

Ohno’s appearance didn’t fit any descriptions of how a boss should look like; he was short, skinny and tanned. He rarely dressed up when he didn’t need to welcome an important guest. His favorite outfit were black trousers and a light blue shirt. He was a laid-back person, he rarely got angry, or panicked, or anything alike. When they faced problems, he always tried to find the way out with cool headed, that was why Aiba put a particular respect and liking towards this man. 

“Nice hair,” Ohno complimented as Aiba entered the room.

“Thanks,” Aiba smiled at the man. “Matsujun is busy as always, huh?” 

Ohno sipped his coffee before answering, “He hates losing.”

“Losing? Too?” Aiba asked. “Can I have a cup?” he continued, gesturing to the coffee machine on the corner of the room. 

“Sure,” Ohno replied. “Didn’t I tell you that our guest is a chef?”

“No,” Aiba answered while pushing the button for café latte of the coffee machine. “You never made any recruitments for a new chef, it’s kind of surprised me. Did you recruit him without telling us?” he asked Ohno. 

Ohno shook his head, “He’s here only for three months before he goes to Italy.”

Aiba nodded, not because he understood the whole situation, but because he thought it would be better to get the information from the said person. If their guest would stay here for three months, they would have enough time to talk. 

“That’s why Matsujun is a little bit tensed up lately,” Aiba grinned. He paid attention to how Jun had become too occupied with new menus and how he seemed to spend more time at the kitchen. 

Ohno chuckled lightly, “I’ve told him already that there will be no competition.” 

“He likes it more when someone challenges him,” Aiba said, sipping the café late while grabbing the magazine from the table. He flipped the pages until he found a particular article of the food corner, the column was written by Sakurai Sho, someone from cuisine magazine and also Ohno’s boyfriend. They met two years ago when Sho was here to have an interview with Ohno. They eventually attracted to each other and started dating – a kind of love story you would see in romantic dramas. 

One of Aiba’s favorite things about working at this restaurant was being able to to witness many happy couples who chose this place to propose. The men would ask Aiba’s opinion when he poured the wine in their glass about how beautiful their soon-to-be-wife was or told him about how they met for the first time. Aiba enjoyed listening to other people’s stories especially when it was about their romantic saga. 

He himself never thought of marriage or having children despite his mother’s rumbling about how happy his little brother was after getting married. Come to think of it, he had been single for almost three years, his last date was a man who was four years younger. The relationship ended almost naturally when they realized that they were too different in terms of personality. Since then, Aiba hadn’t looked an official date since he felt there was no need of having a partner when his heart wasn’t into it. 

He never loved anyone seriously except for one man. Someone Aiba fell in love with the first time they met, someone whom he believed would come back to him, no matter how impossible it was. That particular man broke up with him six years ago through a piece of paper. It didn’t mention the reason why they had to break-up. The letter only said that it was time for them to walk their own paths and if the faith permitted, they probably would meet again. They didn’t fight before that, everything was just as normal as it could be; that kind of breaking-up was more painful that breaking up after exchanging some cursing words. 

Ohno often teased him that he should date Jun instead because both of them were single and they spent the entire time together in terms of work or drinking session afterward or going for shopping on weekends. Jun was a perfect candidate for a date, he was handsome, he could cook, he was kind and understanding. Aiba knew that Jun liked him and had been waiting for his change of mind. However, Aiba couldn’t promise Jun anything and he was afraid that if they started dating, he would hurt Jun. 

He had kissed Jun once when they were too drunk, Jun’s lips were soft and alluring, but they weren’t what Aiba had been looking for. If he and Jun met in different circumstances, perhaps he would date the man without a second thought, nonetheless, there was something in his heart which blocked him from loving somebody else. It hurst sometimes, but there was nothing he could do to turn back the time. 

“Gentlemen, sorry to bother your discussion about me,” Jun said, standing on the doorstep, “Our guest is here.” 

“Oh, thanks, Jun-kun,” Ohno said, rising off of the couch. Aiba followed him towards the stairs; their guest was sitting on one of the chairs, he was reading something on his phone. 

Ohno walked ahead of Aiba and approached their guest. “Welcome to our humble restaurant, Ninomiya-kun.” 

Aiba made sure that he hadn’t heard the name wrong; there were hundreds of people who went by the name Ninomiya in Japan and this man probably was just another Ninomiya. He peered around from Jun’s back to see the man’s face and his heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. There was no way this particular Ninomiya would be here, not in this particular restaurant where he worked. 

“Here are my colleagues, Aiba-chan and Jun-kun,” Ohno said, introducing them. “The other colleagues are on their way here, you can meet them later on.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ninomiya, you can call me Nino,” Nino said, shaking Jun’s and Aiba’s hand. He didn’t show any signs that he knew Aiba and the latter was too shocked to say something. He kept on staring to Nino’s face as if he was a ghost. He felt like he was having a delusion; he had read somewhere on how human’s brains could create a scene which they really wanted to see. He remembered the movie ‘A beautiful mind’ where the main character kept on seeing his imaginary friends; perhaps he was experiencing the same thing, only that Jun and Ohno were also in this. 

“Ninomiya-kun will be here for three months to demonstrate his skill,” Ohno explained. “My friend, Ohgura sent a special request to me to provide him to experience a restaurant in Tokyo before he goes to Italy for higher level training. He was prepared to become a world-class chef, it’s an honor for us to have him here, I hope both of you can work together with him,” Ohno patted Nino’s shoulder in a friendly manner and smiled at him. He shifted his gaze to Jun and Aiba to ask for their comments. 

“It’s an honor,” Jun said. “I love competing so please consider me as your rival.” 

Ohno’s eyes went to Aiba, expecting him to say some words, but he was freezing, no words came pass his lips and all he could mumble was he needed to use the restroom. 

When he returned, Jun and Ohno were gone. He found Nino in the locker room, the man was taking care of his stuff, tucking it into the locker. The opened suitcase was on the floor, Nino was busily sorting the items. 

“Need help?” Aiba asked, stepping closer to the man whose appearance hadn’t changed since the last time they met. The only one word which fit to describe Nino was ‘pretty’. His skin was fair, his hair was dark and was shortly cut, his lips under his beautifully shaped nose always looked soft and attempting. His collarbone was clearly revealed under his loosened cardigan, he hadn’t aged at all. He was the same 25-year-old Nino Aiba had loved to the moon and back. 

“You look weird in that black hair,” Nino said, commenting on Aiba’s hair instead of answering his offer. He smiled at Aiba which almost made him black out, he had been seeing that smile over and over in his dreams. 

“World-class chef, huh,” Aiba said, leaning against the lockers and watching Nino as he pulled an apron from the piles of clothes in his suitcase. 

“Ohno-san is exaggerating,” Nino shook his head. “I’m far from that.” 

“I don’t know that you continue cooking, you told me that you want to go to become a professional magician,” Aiba said, recalling their conversation years ago. 

“You took my joke seriously?” Nino rolled his eyes and it somehow showed his old self when he considered what Aiba said was a silly thing. 

“So, where have you been these years?” Aiba asked. 

Nino was about to answer when the other employees stormed to the room. Kamenashi was the first who appeared from the door, followed by Kamiki, Takeru, and the only woman, Satomi. The three of them introduced themselves as they saw Nino and started talking about the manga which included food. Nino glanced at Aiba and shrugged as if telling him that they could talk later on. 

*** 

The restaurant closed at ten pm, Jun usually stayed behind to make a personal evaluation no matter how Ohno told him to go home because he didn’t pay for overtime. Aiba took off his tuxedo and changed into jeans and T-shirt. Nino was already there and had finished changing, he dragged his suitcase outside, Aiba followed him. He had just realized something.

“Nino, where will you stay for the next three months?” Aiba asked. 

Nino spun on his heels and thought for a while before answering. “I don’t know, but Ohno-san said I can stay in his house for the time being…”

“You can stay in my house,” Aiba said without thinking any further. “Er-, I mean, Ohno-san’s house is good but I think it will be awkward when he has Sho-kun visiting him, you know, his boyfriend,” he stammered.

“How about you?” Nino asked. “Is there anyone visiting you to make me awkward?”

“No,” he answered immediately, “I rarely have guests. If you don’t feel like staying at my house, you can move out anytime you want. It’s just temporary, you know.” 

“Mmmm,” Nino hummed. “It sounds like a nice offer,” he answered. 

Ohno appeared from upstairs and looked at them back and forth. “Both of you seems familiar with each other,” he commented.

“Aiba-kun’s nature,” Nino replied. “He offers me to stay at his house because it will be awkward if I meet your boyfriend during my stay at your guest room,” he told Ohno with the most straightforward statement before Aiba could say anything. 

“That’s not what I mean,” Aiba stuttered. 

Ohno chuckled and nodded. “Sho-kun isn’t a type of jealous monster, but if you feel more convenient at Aiba’s house, it’s totally fine.” 

“Thank you, Ohno-san,” Nino smiled at the man. 

The three of them didn’t prolong their conversation, they bid good bye at Jun and left the restaurant towards the nearest subway station. Nino didn’t speak or start a light talk with Aiba along the way, perhaps he was tired from his trip and from work. They got guests from a television crew that night who ordered the rarest menu which kept Nino and Jun busy. They sat on the train’s chair side by side; Nino’s head eventually fell to Aiba’s shoulder as he dozed off. 

The rush of memories from six years ago flashed inside Aiba’s mind; there was Nino by the window, reading a comic out loud for Aiba with funny faces, there was Nino on the couch, dozing off after a tiring day, there was Nino on the crook of his arm, sleeping like there was nothing else that mattered in this world. He never stopped loving this guy, not even when Nino broke up with him. He could understand the reason why Nino wanted to break-up but it didn’t mean he could stop missing him every single day. 

“Nino, we’re here,” Aiba shook Nino’s shoulder lightly when they reached their stop.

“Sorry, I’m so sleepy,” Nino yawned and rose off the chair, wobbling a bit until Aiba caught his shoulder. 

“Let me carry it for you,” he said, grabbing the suitcase from Nino’s hand. “My apartment is within walking distance, we’ll be there soon, you can sleep all you want,” he smiled at Nino whose eyes were still half-closed. 

They alighted the train and walked outside of the station. Aiba felt weird, now that he walked side by side with Nino towards his apartment. It was almost unreal as if the six years gap never exist. Nino hadn’t explained where he had been for those years, what kind of life he had led, what kind of people he had slept with. Imagining Nino slept with someone else sent a chill sensation into Aiba’s chest, he was always possessive towards Nino when they were still together, one of the reasons Nino broke up with him. 

“It’s a little messy,” Aiba said while opening the door for Nino. 

“I’ll be surprised if your room is clean,” Nino replied. 

They took off their shoes and headed towards the living room. Aiba made sure the guest room was presentable before gesturing Nino to take a rest there. 

“Do you want to take a bath first?” Aiba asked. 

Nino shook his head and mumbled good night, he closed the door behind him, leaving Aiba at the living room. He still couldn’t grasp the situation very well, it was nearly like a joke that he and Nino werr in the same room again. 

He headed towards the bathroom and prepared the bathtub while thinking of Nino. They had been dating for nearly two years when Nino broke up with him. It was the beginning of summer, when Aiba woke up he found a letter from Nino who wrote that they couldn’t be together anymore. The break-up was too sudden; Nino was still acted normal the day before, they didn’t argue at all, everything went as usual. 

Aiba couldn’t sleep well that night, Nino was too close to him, yet he couldn’t touch him. He even stood in front of the guest room door, considering to enter it and making sure that Nino was really there, sleeping on the bed. He cancelled his intention, it was stupid, Nino was really there and it would be reckless to disturb his slumber. It had been six years, Aiba reminded himself. Six years were long enough to forget someone, long enough to find somebody new, long enough to act as if nothing happened between them. 

Aiba didn’t really remember how he survived the days after the break-up. He drowned himself into work (he was a part timer at the 24-hour junk food restaurant back then), he took his friend’s shift and rarely went back to his apartment because he didn’t want to be reminded of Nino’s presence. Nino told him that he had accepted to work at a restaurant in Fukuoka, but that was all. He didn’t give any further explanations, he told Aiba that they could remain friends and Aiba could pay a visit anytime he liked. 

Aiba didn’t have the guts to step his feet to Fukuoka, no matter how much he missed Nino. It would be harder if he saw Nino’s face again, his days would turn gloomier if he found out how happy Nino was without him. They still exchanged mails for the time being, but it got further in between and without them realizing it, they stayed out of each other’s business completely. But it didn’t mean Aiba could forget Nino – he was still and always his love. 

A year later, he was accepted to work at Ohno’s restaurant, a place where he met people he could consider as friends. Ohno barely acted as a boss and he always there to listen to Aiba’s rambling. Jun, despite his stoic personality, was a kind-hearted man and Aiba knew that Jun started to like him, but he didn’t want to deepen their relationship to more-than-friends stuff. He just couldn’t bring himself to a romantic thing. 

Days changed to weeks, to months, and six years had passed since Nino broke up with him. Aiba tried to date someone else, but he couldn’t find what he was looking for. Now, Nino appeared in front of him, so handsome and cute at the same time, the unchanged Nino which made Aiba’s chest flutter, the same old Nino whom Aiba loved with all his heart. It would have been better if Nino was different.

*** 

“Masaki,” Aiba heard someone’s voice and a hand shook his shoulder lightly. 

He opened his eyes and saw Nino’s face above him; it must be a dream, Nino couldn’t be here. 

“Why are you sleeping on the couch?” 

Aiba slowly rose while massaging his temple, he shifted his gaze to Nino, trying to remember what happened the night before. 

“I dozed off,” he mumbled an answer. 

Nino gave him an unconvincing smile and gestured toward the dining table, “I made some coffee and toast, sorry for using your kitchen without your approval,” he said. 

“You don’t need my approval, Nino,” Aiba answered, following Nino towards the dining table. He had prepared breakfast for both of them, the scene somehow made it hard for Aiba to breathe. Seeing two cups lined on his dining table was kind of weird. 

“How are you?” Nino asked as if resuming their unfinished conversation. Aiba looked into the man’s dark eyes; Nino always being Nino, he had a unique way of speaking and it never failed to amuse Aiba. 

“Not that good, but somehow, I can manage,” Aiba answered, taking of the toasts and smeared it with the chocolate spread. “You?”

“So-so,” Nino shrugged. 

“Welcoming a dream as a world-class chef isn’t just so-so,” Aiba commented, flashing a smile at Nino. “I bet many people lined up to become your next date.”

Nino’s expression turned stiff when he heard what Aiba said, but he forced a grin on his face, “I guess,” he replied. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to touch a sensitive subject,” Aiba said, chewing the toast slowly while looking at Nino’s face. 

“Jun-kun told me about you,” Nino said, ignoring Aiba’s apologize. “He has no idea that we already knew each other. It seems that he likes you a lot, he praises you all the time, how the customers favor you, how Ohno-san values your work. He also mentioned that you have a good sense of humor.” 

“You already know that,” Aiba said. “Better than anyone.”

“Yes, I do, but hearing it from someone else is a different thing.” 

“We’ve been working together for five years, we know each other very well,” Aiba replied, trying to avoid the talk about Jun. He didn’t want to discuss Jun’s feelings with Nino, not now when they finally met again after years of separation. “Do you still play baseball?” he asked Nino to change the topic. 

“Sometimes,” Nino answered. 

“We can play if you like,” Aiba said.

“Just the two of us?” 

“We still can play catch ball, like we used to be,” Aiba said, offering Nino a weak smile. He didn’t want to discuss their past because it seemed that Nino wasn’t so happy about it. But he couldn’t find a proper topic to talk about right now without really touching what they had shared six years ago. 

Nino nodded as a response; he then told Aiba about the cuisine competition he had joined and won. He didn’t spend six years in Fukuoka, but he moved from one place to another. The hotel he worked for belonged to Ohgura-san, the hotel itself worked together with a few restaurants where Nino could get a chance to become a guest-chef, including Ohno’s. 

Nino avoided the topic about his love-life as well as their break-up six years ago. He acted as if he and Aiba were just friends who never shared any romantic feelings; it convinced Aiba that it was only him who kept on missing Nino for all these years. Was he expecting this? Was this the answer he had been waiting for? He was too confident that someday Nino would come back to him, he was too naïve to even consider that Nino would have chosen someone better than him. 

*** 

They boarded the subway towards Ohno’s restaurant in silence. Nino was busy texting someone meanwhile Aiba was reading the remaining pages of his comic. He stole a glance at Nino every now and then, the man wore a tweed jacket which was too big for him, a baseball hat covered his head. Nino was never a fashion freak, unlike Aiba who loved buying new items every season. However, it didn’t mean he looked odd, on the contrary, he always looked good in his own style, but of course it was because Aiba was too biased of Nino’s appearance. 

When they arrived at the restaurant, Jun was busily noting something on his planner, he lifted his head and gave them a curious gaze before greeting them good morning. Nino replied shortly and went to the locker room ahead of Aiba. 

“You should have told me that you know each other, I feel stupid for telling him about you,” Jun mumbled while closing his planner and inserting it into the pocket of his apron. 

“He didn’t think that was stupid,” Aiba replied. “Thank you for your positive credit on me,” he grinned at Jun who gave him a cold gaze. 

“Is he someone special to you?” Jun asked in a plain tone. 

“He was,” Aiba answered honestly. 

Jun looked at the door where Nino disappeared a moment ago as if waiting for the man to show up and talk with them. Aiba never thought deeply about his relationship with Jun at the first place; they were just merely colleagues, but when he came to think of it, he had spent most of his free time with Jun and perhaps during those times, Jun had expected him to take the next step without even whining. He had been waiting for Aiba who was still hung up on Nino, the Nino who wasn’t even there with him. 

Aiba was never good in thinking about complicated things and he tended to ignore it until it was too late. It applied the same with what he had with Jun. Perhaps, it wasn’t that complicated in the first place, it was him who overthinking about the risks and what would come of them if he dared to officially date Jun. Besides, he always considered himself not good enough for Jun, no matter how Ohno encouraged him that he and Jun would be a perfect pair. 

His relationship with Nino probably traumatized him more than he thought; maybe the word traumatize was a little bit harsh, but Aiba couldn’t describe why he always kept a special spot for Nino and didn’t open up for someone else, regardless if that someone else was Jun – a good-looking and a kind-hearted man; someone who could melt the hardest rock on earth with his smile. 

“You shouldn’t let him go again if he means so much to you,” Jun said, leaving Aiba and heading towards the kitchen. 

“You’re right,” Aiba answered even though he knew Jun couldn’t hear him. 

Jun didn’t show his jealousy to Nino when he found out that the man was Aiba’s ex-boyfriend, instead, he was the one who guided and explained the details about how their restaurant operated. He gave detailed information about the restaurant’s menus, about their guests, their working hours, their off-day and of course, about the other chefs and waiters. 

When their busy time during lunch was over, Nino dragged Aiba towards the kitchen and served him with a plate of spaghetti alla carbonara. 

“Jun-kun told me it’s your favorite, so I made it for you,” Nino said, offering him a smile which was enough to erase all of Aiba’s problems. 

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you,” Aiba said gratefully. He brought the fork into his mouth and closed his eyes to preserve the taste of spaghetti Nino made for him. Its flavor was different compared to Jun’s spaghetti, it was hard to tell which one was more delicious. It seemed that they had different level of deliciousness that Aiba couldn’t compare. 

“It’s so good,” he complimented. “It feels like having it in Italy,” he continued.

“Thanks,” Nino showed him a smug face. “It’s nice that I can cook for you. I didn’t know that I enjoyed cooking until Ohgura accepted me to work at his hotel. I’m lucky to meet a man like him,” Nino said, staring off into space. 

“I thought that we’d never meet again,” Aiba said with mouth full of spaghetti. Nino didn’t answer, perhaps he pretended not to hear what Aiba said or he simply didn’t pay attention, Aiba couldn’t tell. 

That night, Aiba, Nino and Jun went for drink together. Aiba usually went to the nearest pub with Ohno when Sho wasn’t at home. Sometimes, Jun would join them if he was in his rare mood of leaving the restaurant earlier. 

When Aiba drank with Ohno, it meant he would be the one who talked since Ohno was never a talker. Now he found himself listening to Jun and Nino’s stories which were mostly about food. Jun told Nino about his experience in Italy when he went there for a holiday, meanwhile Nino talked about why he decided to become a cook. 

“I never guessed I’ll end up as a chef,” Nino said, sipping his beer and looking into Jun’s eyes. 

“He really wanted to become a magician,” Aiba chirped in. “But I’m glad that he became a cook, if not, he’d never come to our restaurant.” 

“I’d love to see your magic tricks then,” Jun said, turning to Nino and flashing one of his best smiles. 

“Sure,” Nino said, sliding out a pack of trump cards from his pocket. 

The trick Nino showed Jun was a basic one, but Jun was all excited and praised Nino while clapping his hands. Aiba had seen the tricks too many times, so he wasn’t that impressed. He sipped all of his beer and requested another one from the waiter. He was glad that Nino and Jun got along with each other very well, even better that what he expected. 

He never admitted to himself that he put a special liking towards Jun. Sometimes, he really wanted to kiss Jun’s soft lips or simply hold his hand when they walked side by side after work. Perhaps the meeting with Nino had woken something inside Aiba – the part which made him realize that he needed someone to hold. It was weird that he began to acknowledge how handsome Jun was and how wonderful his presence was since Nino came. It was the feeling he never developed before and he hated to admit it. 

They went back home just after midnight. Nino dozed off along their way home towards Aiba’s apartment, his head leaned to Aiba’s shoulder. Nino wasn’t a strong drinker, unlike Jun. He was completely drunk when they finished which required their support to help him entering the cab. Aiba didn’t complain, on the contrary, he considered it as Nino’s cute side. He loved the feeling where he could be the one who protected this man; regardless Nino was a grown-up and he could take care of himself as good as Aiba. 

*** 

“It’s cold,” Nino said, shivering while adjusting the scarf around his neck. 

They walked together towards the park nearby Aiba’s apartment; it was still eight in the morning. They still had plenty of time to play catch before going to work. Nino walked ahead of him, he looked tiny in his oversize jacket. It reminded him of their date years ago; Nino always loved to circle his hand on Aiba’s or inserted his hands in Aiba’s pocket. He loved wearing Aiba’s oversize jacket and claimed it as his to make Aiba buy a new one. He was always cute, no matter what he did. 

Aiba watched Nino’s back, wishing that he could wrap his arms around Nino’s shoulder to keep him warm, but he knew he was in no position to do that. 

They played while talking about the comics they had been reading. It was nice that Nino was still reading the same series as Aiba. He commented on Aiba’s overloaded bookshelf and told him that he never changed. It was the first time Nino mentioned of their shared past – somehow it made Aiba glad. 

“Do you want some coffee?” Aiba asked as they took a rest. 

“Sounds good,” Nino replied. 

“I’ll get our coffee then,” he said, rising off of the park bench.

“Masaki,” Nino called as he was about to step further. “Why are you always so kind?” 

Aiba was taken aback by that innocent question; he smiled at Nino and patted his shoulder. “Perhaps, I was born with it or maybe it’s because of you.” 

Nino’s eyes widened when he heard the last sentence, he averted his gaze away from Aiba. “That’s your problem, you’re too kind.” 

“Really? I never thought of it,” Aiba grinned. 

“Jun-kun told me that you’re always so kind to him,” Nino said. 

“He always praises everyone, you know.” 

“Have you kissed him?” Nino asked out of the blue. 

Aiba felt there was something warm that had crawled to his cheeks. “What if I did?”

“Nothing,” Nino shrugged. “I will be surprised if you say that you never kissed him. Let’s forget about the coffee and go home instead,” he continued when Aiba froze. Nino’s straightforwardness was still something he couldn’t handle very easily. 

*** 

Two weeks had passed since Nino came to Tokyo; the air had turned colder each day. Nino’s presence had made Aiba restless, not because he hated it, but because he always distracted Aiba from what he was doing. Nino casually walked across the room with only towel around his waist when he finished bath, ignoring Aiba’s stare at him. When they had time to watch TV, he would sit close to Aiba, so close that Aiba could smell his aftershave. Yet, Nino didn’t give any signs that he wanted to repeat what they had six years ago, his gesture was just an ordinary one, just like how he treated Ohno or Jun or even Sho when he visited the restaurant the day before. 

It frustrated Aiba more than anything; he felt stupid for putting another hope to have Nino in his arms once again. 

“Can I have one?” Nino asked while opening the fridge, he gestured to the beers inside it.

“Sure,” Aiba said, “I should have bought a bottle of wine to welcome you here, sorry for that.”

“You speak of me as a complete stranger,” Nino said, opening the beer can and sitting down beside Aiba. 

The restaurant closed earlier that day because the storm was predicted to hit Tokyo that night and it would be meaningless to be trapped inside the restaurant with no customers. They could hear the strong wind outside along with the thunders. 

“How long will you spend in Italy?” Aiba asked, watching Nino as he gulped the beer deliciously. 

“Around two years,” Nino replied. “It’s kinda weird, isn’t it? I don’t like going abroad in the first place.” 

“You’ll enjoy it,” Aiba said, rising off of the armchair and taking a can of beer for himself. 

“By the way, I think the heater in my room doesn’t work,” Nino said as Aiba sat down beside him once again. 

“Really? I never check it, don’t tell me you’ve been freezing for the whole week without telling me.” 

“It worked until two nights ago,” Nino shrugged. 

Aiba headed towards the guestroom and checked the heater; he set the temperature, but nothing happened. The heater had completely stopped working, he would need to call a technician to repair it. He couldn’t let Nino sleep in this freezing room. He turned off the heater and returned to the living room. 

“You can’t sleep there, it’s too cold,” Aiba said. “You can use my room,” he added. 

“Thanks,” Nino nodded, offering Aiba a broad smile. 

Aiba entered his room and took his blanket and pillows, he brought them to the living room which gained a questioning look from Nino. 

“Don’t be stupid, it’s me who should sleep on the couch,” Nino said. 

Aiba shook his head and argued that he shouldn’t let a guest sleep on his couch. They kept on debating until Nino angrily said that he would go out and find a room at the nearest hotel if Aiba kept on insisting he sleep on the couch. An hour later, Aiba found himself curled up awkwardly beside Nino; his bed was large enough to occupy both of them, but it felt too narrow for him now. 

Nino didn’t need a long time to fall asleep, his chest rose and fell along with the rhythm of his breaths. Aiba slowly rolled aside and watched Nino’s sleeping face. He was still as handsome as he could be. He still made Aiba’s heart beat wildly inside his ribs; it felt good and hurt at the same time. 

Nothing happened that night, except that Aiba needed long hours to finally doze off. When he woke the next morning, Nino was already busy at the kitchen, preparing breakfast for both of them. He closed his eyes again, imagining how good it would be if they could stay like this forever, waking up and finding Nino at his kitchen with an apron around his waist. 

Aiba slowly rose climbed off his bed and stepped to the kitchen. Nino lifted his head from the potato he was cutting and greeted him good morning. 

“I mad salad,” he told Aiba. 

“It looks delicious,” Aiba answered. 

“I’ll go out with Jun-kun today,” Nino said while putting the potatoes in a a baking dish and covering it with foil. 

“With Matsujun?” 

“Yes, he invited me to watch a stage play. He said that you don’t like it, so he invited me instead,” Nino explained. He opened the oven and put the container into it. 

“Oh,” Aiba said, scratching the back of his head, he couldn’t push downthe wave of jealousy inside his chest. To Nino or to Jun, he couldn’t tell. But, it was almost impossible for Nino and Jun to be attracted to each other, they had just met and Jun knew that Nino was Aiba’s ex. What if they liked each other? A small voice whispered in Aiba’s ear. What if they kissed? What if they did something more than just kissing? 

It was frustrating that he couldn’t do anything about it. Jun was not his date and Nino was his ex, he had no right to decide what they could and couldn’t do. They were free to go out with anyone they liked, they were free to sleep with whoever they wanted. 

“Masaki, are you listening?”

“Er-, what did you say?” Aiba returned his attention to Nino and tried to push out the imagination of Jun and Nino naked and held each other. 

“Do you want a cup of coffee or tea?” Nino said, scowling. 

“Coffee, I mean tea, no, coffee. Sorry, Nino,” he apologized. 

When Nino left his apartment to go to the stage play with Jun that evening, Aiba felt a hole inside his chest had grown wider. He hated himself that he had no guts to invite Nino out; he was afraid that Nino would turn him down. He hated himself for giving Jun slight hope that they could date (something which mostly wouldn’t happen if Aiba didn’t make a first move). With all the mixed-up things inside his head, Aiba eventually dozed off on his couch, ignoring the cold. 

On the third week aftersince Nino’s arrival, Aiba often found him and Jun talking at the back of the restaurant whether it was during a break or in between works. The scene somehow made Aiba choke on his breaths; perhaps Nino had no feelings for him anymore, that was why he never showed any nervousness to Aiba during his stay at his apartment. It was him who was stupid enough to keep his one-sided-love to Nino for these damn six years. 

“Aiba-kun, do you know where Satoshi-kun is?” 

Aiba was taken aback when he heard Sho’s voice; he didn’t realize Sho’s presence since he was too deep in his thoughts. Sho looked around the restaurant as if hoping that Ohno would appear from one of the tables. The man was so neat in his dark suit; a briefcase was in his right hand and a box of chocolate was in his left. Aiba sometimes envied Ohno and Sho for having that kind of relationship; both of them were domestic, they rarely fought and as far as Aiba knew, Ohno never put any jealousy towards Sho’s co-workers who were mostly clingy to the man. 

“He’s out to buy some cigarette, why don’t you wait for him upstairs?” Aiba said. 

“I’m a little bit in a hurry. Would you pass this to him,” Sho handed the box to Aiba. “Souvenir from the shop where I had my interview,” he added. 

“Sure,” Aiba took it, he read the label and recognized that it was a famous chocolate shop. 

“Thank you,” Sho said while glancing at his watch. “I have to go. Please tell Satoshi-kun I missed him.”

“With pleasure,” Aiba nodded, watching Sho as he left the restaurant. He looked at the clock on the wall; it was barely four in the afternoon; the restaurant would be full in a few hours. He straightened his tie and walked towards the kitchen; his eyes caught a movement in the corridor which separated the kitchen and the restaurant. 

Jun was there, leaning in to someone in front of him, no other than Nino. 

They kissed. 

Aiba stood there like an idiot, trying to grasp what was happening. It wasn’t real; he must have imagined something. There would be no way on earth Jun was kissing Nino. It brought a strange sensation into his heart; but it wasn’t a jealousy, it was something he couldn’t name. Aiba brought his feet towards the kitchen and pretended not to see a thing. When Jun and Nino finally entered, he quickly got out, avoiding their gaze on purpose. 

*** 

“Aiba-chan, you’re still here,” Ohno was rather surprised when he saw Aiba enter his office room. It was already 15 minutes past 10 in the evening. Everyone had left the restaurant, except Ohno who was still there for the monthly stock update. Various notes were scattered on his desk, along with a can of beer, a plate of edamame, and a full ash tray. 

“Sho-kun told me to pass this to you, he came here in the afternoon,” Aiba said, putting the chocolate box on the empty space of Ohno’s desk. 

“Thank you, you can have some if you like,” Ohno replied, sliding out another cigarette from its box and lit it. “I’d better quit for tonight, these numbers have killed my brain,” he continued, closing down his laptop and left the desk towards the couch. “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” 

Aiba took a seat on the couch and nodded weakly at Ohno. He broke a small piece of chocolate and inserteded it to his mouth before talking. 

“Nino is my ex-boyfriend,” he said precisely. 

Ohno didn’t show him a surprised expression and let Aiba continue. 

“I think he likes Matsujun, I saw them kissing in the corridor,” Aiba bit his lower lip, wondering whether it was appropriate to talk something like this with his boss. 

“I saw them too,” Ohno answered as if it was the most usual thing he often witnessed inside his restaurant. “I thought Matsujun likes you,” he added. 

Aiba shook his head in disbelief and took another bite of chocolate while staring into space. “Do you think I should interfere?”

“Do you want to take Nino back or do you want to decide what to do with Matsujun?” Ohno asked. 

Aiba gulped the chocolate and rubbed his chin, trying to look for an answer. He had already known what to do, but it was weird to want two men at the same time and he didn’t know how Jun and Nino would react to this. He couldn’t tell that Nino was the same person he knew from six years ago and he couldn’t guarantee that Jun would accept it with open hands. Jun was a man with passion and everything before him was all about competition. He would probably try to get rid of his rivals to get what he wanted. 

“I don’t know,” Aiba answered, giving the chocolate another bite, his eyes looked at Ohno’s messy desk, as messy as his mind right now. “Maybe I should leave them alone.” 

“Perhaps,” Ohno replied. 

Aiba finished his chocolate and was about to say something to Ohno, but when he turned at the man, he was sound asleep. Smiling, he took a blanket from the drawer below the working desk and covered Ohno with that. He slowly walked towards the door and closed it behind him. The answer wouldn’t come only by thinking about it. Let it be, Aiba thought as he climbed down the stairs. 

*** 

The technician had repaired the heater in the guest room, which meant Nino would no longer needed to sleep at Aiba’s room. Aiba tried to act as normal as he could around Nino and Jun, but the flash of memory where they kissed always sent a strange sensation into his chest – it was not a jealousy, it was something else that he couldn’t name. 

“Aiba-kun, you seem to have many things in mind,” Jun said as they sat down across from each other at Ohno’s office room. They were there for a weekly meeting; Ohno was still on the phone, talking to someone who wanted to reserve their restaurant for a party on weekend. 

“I’m fine,” Aiba said, trying to grin at the man, but his lips were too stiff. “It seems that you and Nino get along very well,” he said casually. 

“We have a few things in common,” Jun smiled. “His cooking is delicious, no wonder if he can become one of the world-class chef.” 

Aiba gave Jun no comment about that; the other man looked outside for a moment before returning his gaze at Aiba. 

“May I visit your house?” Jun asked with a wide smile on his lips. “Nino and I can cook something special for you, it’s nice to have home parties sometimes, you know,” Jun continued.

“Er-,” Aiba hesitated, it seemed that Jun and Nino had already planned it. He was more than glad to be with them on weekend, just the three of them. They could drink many beers while watching some movies, it sounded not too bad. 

“Are you free next weekend?” Jun asked again. “I have talked to Nino and he needs your permission if we want to gather at your house.”

“Sure,” Aiba answered, he would regret things later on, “You can come to my house, it will be nice,” he added. 

Ohno had finished talking on the phone and started their brief meeting, but Aiba’s mind was all on the upcoming weekend. What he felt was exactly like a teenager who looked forward for his first date. 

Aiba tried to act normal in front of Jun and Nino and tried hard not to show his excitement, especially in front of Nino when they had breakfast together. He avoided every topic about Jun or their plan for the weekend. He had been dreaming about dirty stuff lately which included Jun and Nino and resulted in wet pants in the morning. 

“Masaki, do you have anything particular that you want to eat during our home party on weekend?” Nino asked while sipping his coffee. “Jun-kun and I planned to cook Chinese food, do you want something aside from that?” 

Aiba blinked and tried to push his run of thoughts where Jun and Nino kissed each other on his couch, the imagination had brought a weird excitement. 

“You’ve been acting strange lately,” Nino commented. “What happened?”

“Maybe it’s because of the cold air recently,” Aiba answered, avoiding Nino’s gaze. 

*** 

The weekend came faster than Aiba expected; he was nervous and chose to barricade himself inside his room. Jun came at 10, Aiba heard him entering his apartment and exchanged words with Nino. He covered his ears, it was stupid that he even couldn’t bring his feet to the living room to welcome his friend. It was minutes later that Nino’s head peeped in from his door. 

“Jun-kun is here,” he announced. 

Aiba slowly rose off of his bed and stepped towards the living room where Jun was sitting. 

“Do you want to have lunch now? We can start cooking for you,” Nino said from his left side. 

“Yes,” Aiba replied shortly. 

“We can start, Nino,” Jun said, stepping towards Aiba’s kitchen. 

Nino followed the taller while telling Jun that he had prepared the basic ingredients in the fridge. Aiba, on the other hand stepped towards the couch and slumped his back while watching the two men the kitchen. 

Jun and Nino worked on different cooking, they had serious expression on their face, something that was worth seeing. It felt unreal for Aiba to have them both cook for him. It was almost like a scene in the love dramas where the main character watched the heroin with soft expression on their face. 

All of a sudden, he wanted to see them kiss each other again. It was something he never experienced before; he had seen Ohno and Sho kiss so many times, but they didn’t awaken something inside him. However, every time he imagined Jun and Nino kissed, his heart began to flutter. 

Aiba focused his sight on Jun and the realization of how handsome Jun was hit him like a sudden wave. He always liked Jun because the guy had a great personality and he taught Aiba a lot of things about working hard and never gave up. He was the reason Aiba could face these five years without Nino’s presence. 

Nino, on the other hand had always been cute. He was the type of a person who could make any mistakes and being forgiven afterward. No matter how Nino hurt him in the past, Aiba couldn’t bring himself to hate the man, on the contrary, he still loved Nino and would always love him. 

Before Aiba realized it, he had let himself drown deeper than what he imagined. 

They ate while talking about random things; from the manga they had been reading until the recent world politics. They moved to the living room after the impressive lunch and watched the afternoon television show, but nothing was interesting enough. Nino eventually dozed off on the couch; his head bent into a weird direction. 

“Is he always like that?” Jun asked while gesturing towards Nino. 

“He’s a light sleeper,” Aiba chuckled. “Do you want some beer?” 

“Yes, please,” Jun nodded. 

Aiba stood up and walked towards the kitchen, he opened the refrigerator and took two cans of beer. He handed one to Jun while sitting down beside the man on the rug. 

“It’s my first time to be at your house,” Jun mumbled. “It’s relaxing,” he looked around. 

“I should have invited you earlier,” Aiba replied. “Sorry about that.” 

Jun shook his head and sipped his beer deliciously, he took a glance at Nino’s sleeping face and shifted his gaze to Aiba.

Aiba had always admired Jun’s beautiful eyes and now those brown orbs were looking at him with a particular intention. Aiba had no time to think; he leaned closer and pressed his lips to Jun’s. They were soft and alluring, it felt exactly like one of his dreams. When he kissed Jun for the first time, he was drunk, but now he was fully awake. The tenderness of Jun’s lips sent a pleasure into his stomach, the kiss worked like a magic spell which could wipe away every worrisome thought in Aiba’s head. 

Jun pulled further and broke the kiss; he gave Aiba an unreadable expression, his right hand reached for Aiba’s hair and brushed it softly. 

“I’ve been waiting for that,” Jun whispered. 

It seemed that Aiba had created the most complicated situation for himself. 

*** 

Ohno summoned Aiba and Jun on Monday morning with a smile on his lips. His hands were holding a bundle of paper, he gestured to Aiba and Jun to sit down, meanwhile he stood up before them. 

“Both of you will go to the event in Stay Gold Hotel in Hakone, Jun-kun as a guest chef and Aiba-chan as my representative to attend the main party,” Ohno explained while grinning from ear to ear. 

“Wait, Ohno-san,” Aiba cut him off. “It’s weird, why aren’t you attending it? I’m not in the position to do that.” 

Ohno rubbed his chin and thought for a moment before answering, “I have an important thing to do with Sho-kun, so I can’t go.” 

Aiba exchanged glance with Jun and from the look on Jun’s eyes, he knew that both of them were thinking about the same thing. Nobody would have chosen their private stuff over work except Ohno; every restaurant owner would do anything to attend the event at Stay Gold Hotel because it was their biggest chance to promote their restaurant. 

“Alright,” Jun answered. “Is there anything else you want us to do?”

“No,” Ohno replied, handing them the papers. “Here’s the invitation and everything you need to know about the event. You can browse it, though because they have sent it through post, so it’s better for us to give it a glance,” Ohno chuckled as if laughing on the useless pamphlet. “They provide a hotel room for you, so no worries.”

Aiba scratched his head; he would need Jun to explain the whole thing once again because what Ohno said was vague. 

“It will be fun,” Ohno said, he sat down across from Aiba and Jun, his hand reached for his coffee cup and sipped it. 

Both of them walked towards the kitchen and informed the other chefs and waiters about Ohno’s plan and their absence for the upcoming three-days annual event at Stay Gold Hotel. The event would start on the following week; it was conducted by the owner of Stay Gold Hotel, a man named Sakamoto. Aiba had attended it once with Ohno, he was the one who did talks with the other businessmen, meanwhile Ohno was there only to taste the expensive wine and got drunk afterwards. Sometimes, he was amazed how Ohno could still run a business with that attitude. 

Nino wasn’t at the kitchen when Aiba and Jun informed the others about the events which Ohno wanted them to attend. They had no time to talk since the guests had already fulfilled the restaurant for dinner. 

It was a day before the event when Nino told Aiba that Ohno permitted him to join Aiba and Jun to Stay Gold Hotel. It was a rare chance and it would be nice for Nino to introduce himself to the other chefs for the future reference when he already back from Italy. The only problem was there was no more room at Stay Gold Hotel. The nearest inn was two stations away and it would be troublesome for Nino to travel back and forth; the only choice was to share the hotel room among the three of them. 

“I can cancel it, really,” Nino told them when Jun informed about the full-booked rooms. 

“Don’t be stupid, Nino,” Jun said. “It’s not a big problem to share room, I don’t mind it,” he continued. 

“Matsujun is right,” Aiba flashed a convincing smile at Nino. “It’s not an issue to share room. The only problem is if one of us snores.” 

“I know you don’t,” Nino said to Aiba, but then he avoided Aiba’s gaze immediately when he realized what he said. Jun pretended that he didn’t hear it; he told them that it was better for them to go home earlier to prepare their belongings. 

*** 

Aiba found himself sandwiched between Jun and Nino on the bus seat along the way to Hakone. Nino was the first to doze off; his head leaned on Aiba’s right shoulder, his hand was still holding the recipe book he had been reading. Aiba took the book slowly from Nino’s hand and inserted it to his tote bag. 

“He’s an easy sleeper, just like what you said” Jun commented from Aiba’s left side. 

Aiba nodded as a response, he felt Jun’s head on his left shoulder, he leaned there just like what Nino did. 

“You know, I really wanted to do that since a long time ago,” Jun mumbled, closing his eyes. 

Aiba didn’t confirm what did Jun meant, whether he wanted to go to Stay Gold Hotel for the event or leaned his head on Aiba’s shoulder during their trip. Aiba was never good in taking initiative because he was worried that something would go wrong and everyone would blame him. It was the same as his love saga; he always became the one who waited. That was why he couldn’t tell Nino how much he still loved him, he couldn’t bring himself to confess. The same thing applied to what he felt for Jun, he couldn’t tell Jun to go far enough because he enjoyed the attention Jun had been giving him. 

Aiba moved his sight to Jun; his eyes were closed, his hand slightly touched Aiba’s thigh. Unlike Nino, Jun would always here near Aiba. Unlike Nino, Jun was the one who pursued Aiba and waited patiently for his answer. Jun knew that Aiba always thought of Nino, but he never stopped waiting for Aiba, as if knowing that someday, Aiba would return his feelings. 

“We’re here,” Aiba shook Nino’s shoulder as they arrived at the nearest bus stop from the hotel. Jun had already got down and waited for them outside. 

“Mmmm,” Nino slowly opened his eyes and yawned. He followed Aiba with unbalanced steps and half-opened eyes; Jun chuckled at him as he wobbled. 

“You look like a zombie,” Jun commented, wrapping his hand around Nino’s shoulder and guiding him towards the exit of the terminal. Aiba followed behind them and felt a strange vibe inside his chest as he saw their closeness. 

It was nearly three pm when they arrived at the hotel. The twin room was large and convenient, there was a huge mirror above their bed. Aiba never found out what was the purpose of decorating the room with a mirror on the ceiling; they always gave him an unpleasant sensation. 

A rounded glass table was on the corner of the room, there was a chess board on top of it, a few magazines were piled up beside it. The twin beds were large enough to occupy two of them; Jun chose the one which was close to the window. 

“Nino, you can sleep with me,” Jun said, patting the empty space on the bed while grinning. 

Nino glanced at Aiba as if asking for his approval. 

“I can sleep on the couch, you can have the bed for yourself,” Aiba said, sitting down on the couch beside the window. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Nino replied. “The bed is large enough for both of us. I can sleep with Jun-kun on the first night and with you on the next night, that will be fair enough,” he shrugged which gained a laugh from Jun. 

“I think it’s fair enough,” Jun commented, joining Aiba on the couch. 

Aiba took one of the magazines and pretended to read it, it was his first time to be in the same room with Jun and the things would become more complicated with Nino between them, not the he complained though. 

He was relieved that nothing happened on the first night; the three of them slept almost immediately since they were exhausted from the trip and a little bit drunk since they drank too much whiskey at the welcoming party. There were also too many wine collections from various countries which would be a waste if they didn’t taste them. Jun and Nino went to meet the coordinating chef for the next day preparation meanwhile Aiba walked around the hotel to have small talks with the other restaurant owners. 

Nino curled up beside him with his over-sized pajamas; he took the blanket for himself and wrapped it around his body like a rolled-cake, leaving Aiba freezing under his coat. Jun slept like the dead with his blanket covered his head and he was still on the same position on the next morning. Aiba woke up ahead of them and took a short shower before heading the hotel restaurant for the breakfast. He must be at the main hall for the opening of the event this morning. 

Ohno sent him a LINE message which contained his picture with Sho – half naked in a particular hot spring, both of them smiled widely towards the camera. Aiba sighed as he saw the picture, Jun would probably give a harsh comment if he saw it, but he preferred to ignore it. 

The event went smoothly on the first day; Aiba had exchanged name cards with more than 20 restaurant owners. He had tried many cakes, he ate a lot of unique food and had tasted wine and whiskey from various countries. The clock pointed to 10 in the evening when he came back to the hotel room. He was light headed, but wasn’t too sleepy. 

Jun and Nino hadn’t returned yet; Aiba waited for them while reading the fashion magazine. The spring has begun which meant new fashion; Jun would soon invite him for shopping. He put the magazine on the table and walked towards the bathroom to take a shower. When he finished, Jun and Nino had entered the room while chatting lightly. They gave Aiba a weird gaze as their eyes travelled from Aiba’s head to his toes and stopped on his waist with a towel wrapped around it. 

“We cooked the best food,” Jun announced while loosening the apron around his waist and folding it neatly. “Our restaurant will welcome new customers after this event, thanks to Nino,” he glanced at Nino who busily unbuttoning his white uniform. 

“You’re exaggerating it,” he replied, slumping on the bed end. 

Jun didn’t give any reply, he took a deep breath and looked at Aiba with a broad smile on his lips. He rose off of the couch and sat down beside Nino. 

“We should celebrate it, don’t you think, Aiba-kun?” Jun said. 

Aiba’s head was in a haze as he saw Nino and Jun sat side by side on the bed. He felt there was a monster awoken inside him; a monster which appeared since he saw Jun and Nino kiss in the corridor of the restaurant. He would turn crazy if he didn’t unleash it. 

Jun mumbled that he would take a short shower, leaving Aiba alone with Nino. He sat down on the couch, trying to hide his light erection. He had been able to control himself for these few weeks and only satisfied his lust by jerking off, but not now, when Nino and Jun were at the same room with him. 

Jun came out from the bathroom, wrapping a towel around his waist, just like Aiba. Nino took the turn to take a bath without saying anything. 

“Did you have a great time at the party?” Jun asked, walking towards the couch and sat down beside him. 

“So-so,” Aiba answered. “I drank a lot.” 

“I can see from your gaze,” Jun commented, giving him a lazy smile, the one that Aiba liked. 

Aiba could feel his cock harden; it was odd that he got excited only by hearing Jun’s voice. When he saw Nino came out from the bathroom with wet hair and a half-naked body, he was totally horny. he stood up from the couch and approached the bed. Jun followed his movement; Nino looked at him with a shady gaze and was about to say something when Aiba silenced him with a kiss. 

“You two expected me to do this, didn’t you?” he whispered. 

Jun’s lips were on his earlobe as he answered. “It took you so long to realize it. We’ve been trying hard to wake this side of you.”

Nino pulled away and looked at Aiba with a playful smile on his lips. It was the prettiest smile he had ever shown to Aiba; the latter grabbed the back of Nino’s neck and tugged him closer, planting a kiss once again on his lips. 

Jun was on his back, he started to kiss Aiba’s neck and loosened the towel around his waist. The sensation was unimaginable, Aiba never dreamt to do this with Jun and Nino at the same time. He used to be very shy when it came to sex and would never brring his feet to a bar to look for a one-night stand. Ohno always told him that he had been too tame and would regret it when he became older. 

Nevertheless, he was sandwiched between two good-looking men who eagerly touched his body. Nino’s hand travelled to his bare chest and went down to his flat abs. Jun, meanwhile was busy taking the towel off him until he was totally naked and helpless under their touch. 

It was amazing to have sex with both of them; whey they finished, Aiba found himself panting in full bliss. Jun and Nino were on his left and right side, smiling at him. Nino had fallen asleep in no time on the crook of Aiba’s neck. 

“Is this really okay for him to share you with me?” Jun said in a tiny voice, gesturing at Nino’s sleeping face. 

“Whose idea was this?” Aiba asked in return. 

“Nino’s idea,” Jun replied. “He told me that you’re hopeless when it comes to taking the first step, besides, he knows that I like you,” he admitted. “He doesn’t want to hurt me by taking you alone and he realized that you still have feelings for him and you have a little for me, too.” 

“Matsujun, I didn’t mean to…” Aiba started but Jun shooed him by attaching his finger on Aiba’s lips. 

“It’s fair enough,” Jun said, leaning closer to Aiba and kissing him. “I have nothing to lose, neithr do you.”

“I don’t understand, liking two people at the same time is…”

“Weird,” Nino mumbled with closed eyes. “It’s okay, Masaki. I like you and I like Jun-kun, end of story.” 

“He’s right,” Jun said from his right side. He, too, buried his face on the crook of Aiba’s neck and started to doze off. 

Aiba looked at the mirror on the ceiling; it was probably crazy, but the monster inside of him growled in pleasure as he felt the warmth of Nino and Jun’s body on his bare skin. 

***

“How was it?” Ohno asked Aiba when entered the office on the second floor. Ohno’s smile was wide and an amusement was clearly visible. 

“The party was amazing,” Aiba answered.

“You know that I didn’t refer to the party,” Ohno chuckled, gesturing to Aiba to sit down.

“Well,” Aiba shrugged while sitting down on the couch. “It was…how should I put it…rather confusing.” 

Ohno gave him a friendly pat on his shoulder. “You deserve it after years of loneliness.”

“I’m not lonely,” Aiba shook his head. 

“Oops, sorry,” Ohno grinned and took a small box from his bag then handed it to Aiba. “Another chocolate from Sho-kun,” he said. 

“Thanks,” Aiba took the chocolate and tore the cover off. “You should have given me more free trips to the hotels.”

“With those super good-looking men as your companion, I don’t think so,” Ohno shook his head. “You should share.”

“I’ll tell Sho-san,” Aiba said which earned a giggle from Ohno. 

“Sho-kun wouldn’t mind,” Ohno said while grabbing a cigarette box from the drawer. “I’ll buy something at the convenience store, do you want anything?” he asked.

“No, thanks,” Aiba replied, raising off of the armchair and walking towards the exit. 

When he entered the kitchen, Nino and Jun were busy cooking something. Aiba refrainedfrom talk with them because they seemed to occupied with what they were doing. He returned to the front of the restaurant; the clock pointed to four in the afternoon, the guests would fulfill this place in a few hours. Aiba loved the quietness in between busy hours, he would sit down at one of the chairs and looked around the restaurant. The scenery was totally different when it was empty of guest. Ohno often joined him staring into space; they would sit side by side and drown into their own thoughts. That was he liked about Ohno, they could sit for hours without exchanging any words and not bothered by it. 

Aiba thought of his relationship with Nino and Jun. He couldn’t describe it with words, he just wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. Nino had voluntary moved to his room and slept on Aiba’s bed for the past week. They sometimes invited Jun and shared the same thing like what they did at Stay Gold Hotel. Nino suggested that Jun could stay at Aiba’s house for the time being, because he wanted to spend more time with Jun before his departure to Italy. 

Jun agreed and in the last three weeks, the three of them shared bed. Their presence had become too familiar for Aiba that he forgot how were his days without the both of them. 

*** 

“Three weeks left until your departure day,” Aiba said to Nino when they finished their breakfast. Jun had gone for work early in the morning because it was the re-stocking day and he needed to make sure that their ingredients were at the best condition. 

“I’m not ready yet,” Nino mumbled. “Half of me wants to stay here, with you and Jun-kun,” he continued. 

“It’s just for two years, you’ll be back here before you even know it,” Aiba said, smiling at the man. He wanted Nino to stay here as well, but it would be so selfish to block Nino from reaching his dream job. 

“What will you do to Jun-kun if I’m not here?” Nino asked.

“What do you mean?”

Nino sipped his coffee before answering, “Something like making him your official boyfriend.” 

Aiba thought for awhile, “Is it okay with you if I date Jun-kun while you’re not here?” 

Nino chuckled lightly and nodded. “As long as both of you leave me some space to enter when I’m back.” 

“I’ll guarantee that,” Aiba replied, “I’m really happy that we can talk like this.” 

“Sorry for everything I’ve done,” Nino said. “I should have talked properly back then.”

“It’s okay Nino, you’re here now, that’s the most important,” Aiba replied, wrapping his hands around Nino’s. They stayed like that for minutes, feeling each other’s warmth through their connecting hands. They probably couldn’t have the same thing like what they shared six years ago, but the things with Jun had added something special between them. It was weird at first, but as the time went by, Aiba’s feelings for Jun and Nino had grown stronger and he loved them. 

“Would you wait for me?” Nino asked.

“Sure,” Aiba nodded and flashed a smile. “I’ve been waiting for six years, two years will be no problem for me,” he continued. 

“Thank you, now let’s get ready for work,” Nino said, freeing his hand from Aiba’s grip. 

Three weeks seemed too short for Aiba. He would glance to the calendar every now and then to check how many days left until Nino’s departure. He tried to hide his anxiety from Nino and Jun and, but the approaching departure day had left him sleepless. He didn’t want Nino to go again, not when he could feel Nino’s warmth again after such a long time. 

Ohno planned to hold a good-bye party for Nino three days before his departure. Nino would depart on the Christmas Eve, what an imperfect timing to say good bye, Aiba thought miserably. He still had Jun by his side, but Jun wasn’t Nino, they were two different individuals and Jun’s presence couldn’t erase Aiba’s longing towards Nino. 

Ohno proudly introduced Nino to their guest as soon-to-be world class chef on the last week before Nino’s departure. Aiba recalled what Jun told him on the day before, that he didn’t want to lose from Nino and would do his best to become the best cook in Japan. 

“If you go to Italy, I’ll be all alone,” Aiba said to him. 

“I’ll wait until Nino comes back,” Jun replied, flashing him a teasing smile. 

Ohgura was also present, he and Ohno had a long talk about their restaurant. Ohgura had repeatedly recommended Ohno to open the branch restaurant at one of the hotel chains, but Ohno wasn’t that interested. Aiba knew that Ohno had gotten more than three proposals from different hotels to open a branch, thanks to Sho’s article. However, the man was still considering the offer, because he wanted to keep everything original and it would be quite troublesome to look for new employees he could trust. 

“Honestly, I don’t want to leave,” Nino said from Aiba’s left side. Nino had just finished talking with one of their regular guests, a beautiful lady named Yonekura Ryoko. “The working atmosphere in this restaurant is just something I’ve been looking for,” he continued. 

“You can come back anytime you want,” Aiba replied. “Ohno-san will be more than glad to accept you.” 

Nino shrugged as if telling Aiba that he wasn’t sure whether he could come back here. Once he was labelled a world-class chef, Nino would get many offers from high class restaurant to work for them. In that case, the possibility for him to return here was low. The thought made Aiba a little bit lonely, but he was in no position to decide on Nino’s future. 

“Masaki,” Nino called.

“Mmmm.”

“Let’s play catch tonight, just you and me,” Nino said.

“Sure,” Aiba answered without thinking. 

The air was cold and windy when they walked side by side towards the nearest park. Nino shrunk on his oversized jacket and hid half of his face beyond the scarf around his neck. Aiba half-heartedly suggested that it was better for them to cancel their plan and go home instead, but Nino shook his head and told him that he just wanted to stay outside a little bit longer. 

“You’re the one I can play catch with,” Nino mumbled from behind his scarf. “Jun-kun is horrible,” he added. 

Aiba chuckled and pulled Nino to his side to keep him warm. “Don’t blame me if you get sick before your departure.” 

“I will blame you for keeping me here,” Nino answered, leaning his head against Aiba’s shoulder. 

They played while talking about the things they wanted to do in future. Nino dominated the talk since Aiba couldn’t think of what he planned to do for his life. Perhaps, he would work in Ohno’s restaurant for the rest of his life, not too bad, he thought. He wasn’t a person with dreams, unlike Nino or Jun. He tended to enjoy what he was doing and never really thought of what future would bring him. 

He caught the ball Nino threw at him and looked at it for a few seconds; was it okay for Jun and Nino to be with him? He was a man with no ambition, he wasn’t that smart, he wasn’t that good-looking either. Aiba often thought about it when he watched Nino and Jun’s sleeping face. One day, they would realize that Aiba was not good enough for them and they would eventually leave. 

“Masaki, throw the ball back,” Nino said. 

Aiba pushed all of his thoughts away and threw the ball to Nino. He would think of it later on, Nino and Jun enjoyed being with him, end of story. If they wanted to leave, it was their freedom to do so. 

They returned home when the clock pointed to midnight; Jun was in the living room, reading a thick book. He turned at them and mumbled ‘welcome home’. Nino approached towards the armchair where he was sitting and told him where they were. 

“You were busy at the kitchen when we left,” Nino said. 

“Ohno-kun told me,” Jun replied with a smile on his lips. “Do you want me to help you pack your things?” he asked Nino.

“It’s late, we’d better go to bed,” Nino said, rising off of the couch and heading towards the bathroom to wash. 

Jun turned at Aiba as Nino disappeared, he gave Aiba a shady smile and told him that he wouldn’t be here on Nino’s departure night. 

“I joined a cooking competition,” Jun explained. “I have discussed it with Ohno kun and he told me to go.” 

“Good for you,” Aiba said, sitting down beside Jun. “Nino will understand.” 

“I don’t want to lose to him,” Jun said. 

“You have a nice competitor,” Aiba replied, standing up from the couch and entering the bathroom. Nino had already finished bathing, he kissed Aiba shortly on his cheek before exiting the bathroom. 

Aiba touched the spot where Nino kissed him; there were a few days left and there would be no more Nino in this room. 

*** 

Kissing Nino when Jun wasn’t around felt so different. The realization that they were alone made Aiba more nervous, regardless that they had kissed many times when they were dating six years ago. They were on the couch; cuddling with each other. Nino inserted his hand beneath Aiba’s T-shirt, touching him lightly. Aiba pulled away and broke the kiss, he brought his hand to brush Nino’s hair while kissing his forehead. 

“I love you, Nino,” he said precisely. 

Nino didn’t reply, he buried his face to Aiba’s chest, snuggling like a kid who looked for warmth. Perhaps, Nino didn’t want to say it out loud because he was afraid of what would come during his two years absence. Aiba kept on brushing his hair and kissed the top of Nino’s head once in a while. 

Nino’s flight was at midnight; they still had around six hours before the departure. Nino’s suitcase was ready, Jun had helped him in packing for the past three days. Both of them went to watch a stage play together two nights ago as a private way to say good-bye. 

Aiba looked at the clock on the wall which kept on ticking, every second had brought Nino further from him. He had never understood the term ‘time is relative’ and now the realization hit him; six hours seemed too short if you were about to be apart with your beloved one. 

He gave Nino a long-heated french kiss while preserving the memory in his head. Nino’s eyes were closed, enjoying the kiss like Aiba did. It was the longest and the most fascinating kiss Aiba had ever had with someone. 

*** 

Ohno’s restaurant was busy on Christmas; they had decorated it with mistletoe and a little Christmas tree at the corner. Sho got a day off from his job and helped them at the restaurant. He told Aiba with a happy tone that he and Ohno would travel to Hakodate at the end of the year. 

“Satoshi wants to take pictures there,” Sho explained while folding the napkin. 

“It must be very cold,” Aiba commented. “I don’t want to go near Hokkaido in this season,” he continued. 

Sho chuckled. “When will Jun return from his cooking competition?” Sho asked. 

“Two more days,” Aiba answered. His apartment felt far too large when Jun and Nino weren’t around. He missed both of them already. Nino had arrived in Italy and gave Aiba a brief video call, telling him not to miss him too much. How could he not miss a person like Nino? 

“Satoshi is considering opening a branch for this restaurant,” Sho mumbled. “You and Jun must be ready to work harder.”

“It goes without saying,” Aiba answered. He wouldn’t mind if he had to work extra hours if that meant he could distract his mind from Nino. He was sure that Jun thought the same way. 

The restaurant would be open until midnight on Christmas which Aiba was grateful for since he didn’t want to be alone at his apartment. Ohno had bought three bottles of wine and told Aiba and Sho they could stay for drinks. After closing the restaurant, the three of them headed towards Ohno’s office at the second floor and started drinking. One thing Aiba liked about Ohno and Sho was they never made Aiba uncomfortable between them. They were probably the most casual couple he had ever met. 

They finally ended up sleeping in Ohno’s office since they were too drunk to go home. Aiba took the couch meanwhile Ohno and Sho curled up on the rug with mouth half-opened. He wondered what were Nino and Jun doing, he typed a short message to both of them and dozed off right after. 

*** 

Two years later 

The culinary festival was always crowded; particularly if it involved the best chefs from various hotels all over Japan. The festival also held a cooking competition and it was the most exciting part of the event. The festival took place in Stay Gold Hotel in Hakone; it was also the place where Ohno agreed to open the restaurant branch with Jun as the main chef. 

Aiba, meanwhile still worked at the main restaurant in Tokyo and sometimes traveled to Hakone to supervise the work of newly recruited waiters. The thing between him and Jun had never changed since the day Nino departed to Italy. The only thing which changed was Jun lived in Hakone now and it meant they couldn’t see each other that often. 

Aiba and Jun seemed to have unwritten rules during Nino’s absence. They didn’t stay together at Aiba’s apartment; they still dated and went out every now and then, but they wanted to leave a special space for Nino until he came back to Japan. 

Two years had passed since that day; the things around Aiba had changed, except him. Ohno had bought a new coffee machine which was bigger and with more various flavor, Sho was promoted as the chief editor for the magazine he was working for, Jun had won three cooking competition and got an offer from the highest-class restaurant in Japan, not mentioning that he declined it because of his loyalty to Ohno. 

Aiba was the one who never changed. 

Sometimes, he wondered why Jun and Nino liked him. He didn’t have anything special to be proud of and he wasn’t that good looking – just an ordinary man with an ordinary job. 

“Aiba-kun,” Jun patted his shoulder from his left side. “The judges have arrived for the cooking competition,” he said. “Let’s go there, you don’t want to miss the best culinary from the best chef.” Jun gripped his hand and dragged him towards the center of the festival where the cooking competition took place. Jun didn’t join it because he was already labeled as the best chef in Japan and there would no meaning for him to compete with the other chefs whose skill didn’t match him. 

They walked through the crowds, hand in hand. The visitors had fulfilled the center of the venue, a few girls and middle-aged women lined up in the front and giggled from ear to ear when they saw a figure. 

“Look at him, isn’t he cute?” one of them said. “He’s the main judge for this competition.”

Aiba shifted his gaze at the figure and smiled in surprised, the man was no other than Nino – his Nino. He had informed that he would be in Japan soon enough, but he didn’t tell him the exact date. It was typically Nino. 

Jun squished his hand and smiled at him. “He missed you so much,” he said.

“Wait, did you meet him without telling me?” Aiba replied, pouting. 

“He told me that he wanted to surprise you,” Jun said with an apologetic smile. 

Aiba shook his head and focused his gaze to Nino who was busily checking the cooking. He looked handsome on his white uniform; he had seen Jun in the same outfit so many times before, but Nino was different. When Nino finished judging the cooking, he approached Aiba and Jun with a wide smile on his lips. Aiba didn’t think further when he pulled the shorter into his embrace and gave him a bone-breaking hug. 

“I almost died from missing you,” Aiba said. 

“I’m glad you’re still alive,” Nino’s voice was rough when he answered. 

Aiba let him free and kissed him on the lips, ignoring the staring from the people around them. He had been waiting forever for this day and holding Nino felt like a dream for him. 

“Masaki, you’re attracting attention,” Nino said as Aiba pulled further, his face was as red as a crab. 

“I did it to show that you’re mine, so no one would grab you away from me,” he replied. “You owe me two year’s worth of kisses.” 

Nino chuckled, “Alright, but I have to work now,” he said while adjusting his hat. 

“I guess you have to wait for a little longer,” Jun said from behind. 

“You didn’t kiss him,” Aiba commented. 

“Well,” Jun shrugged. “That’s because I kissed him earlier.” 

Aiba pouted but said nothing, he grabbed Jun’s hand and led him towards the line of the tables to try the food. They waited for Nino to join them; Nino who had become one of the most anticipated chefs, something which made Aiba so proud. It was almost 10 in the evening when Nino finally finished his work. Aiba and Jun had been waiting for him at the hotel room, they welcomed Nino as he opened the door. 

“Welcome back,” Aiba whispered and without any further delay, he led the man to the bedroom, Jun was behind them. 

 

 

The end


End file.
